enter
 |
 |
|
|
Dear one, Welcome to my Blog! Here you'll find my thoughts, recommendations, useful links and tips every month. So check back here often. |
|
 |
Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
G’day! We are now in Sydney, Australia and the change from a month in relaxed Fiji to the hustle-bustle city life has been a shock, though exhilerating. I am falling in love with Sydney and I plan to make it a regular teaching stop. The oddest thing for me is that it’s like New York at Christmas (with less frenetic energy) but with everyone in flip-flops and sundresses (it’s summer here because we’re below the Equator -- hence the term Down Under -- where seasons are reversed). We will celebrate the holiday up near the Great Barrier Reef with family flying in to join us.
If you are ready for a HAPPENING 2008, make sure you’re on our mailing list. I am offering a COMPLETELY FREE teleseminar in early January to help you release EVERYTHING that has been standing in the way of your dreams come true.
UPDATING, PART 4: Keeping Your Catch
We’ve been exploring Updating in the past few Ezines and for a recap, see previous month’s Blogs.
So, you’ve gotten someone who you consider out of your league. You’re dating and even committed. How do you keep him or her?
- Continue to work on your own self-image. No one is really "too good" for you. Updating is a false concept. And so, you need to repeated remind yourself that you’re worthy of this person. It’s important that the two of you have an equal relationship in which you don’t feel one-down.
- Relax. When you find yourself panicking that you’ll lose this "catch", use faith-building tools like prayer, meditation, uplifting reading and affirmation: ("I GET this and nothing can take away what is mine in consciousness!"). Mellow energy shows confidence and there is no greater magnet.
- Communicate. Keeping an open channel of connection with your mate is one of the best ways to ensure a continued, vital relationship. Strive to keep revealing yourself to your One, even if it’s scary and continue to explore your partner. You can never get to the bottom of another.
- Let go. A loose way of holding on is MUCH more magnetic than becoming clingy, paranoid or having to keep close tabs (all of which are repellent energies) on your love. Release and watch things blossom!
Have a wonderful holiday! I’m wishing you the VERY BEST for 2008!!!
love & many holiday blessings,
Kathryn
Sunday, November 11th, 2007
Dear One,
Bula! After 3 weeks of teaching on several Hawaiian islands, I am in Fiji right now as part of my 6+ month World Tour. We are here for a month and then go onward to Australia . I’m with my husband and two smallest boys, and we are having a ball. I have never seen more heart-centered people than the natives here. It is truly magical!
Beyond the traveling wear and tear, something deep is happening. We are all becoming closer, to the point that I see all four of us reading each other’s minds. I see this leve of communication with soulmates, and my husband Jon and I have already had lots of “marriage moments” (when you have the same thought at the same time or know what the other is thinking). But this is more -- a communion that goes beyond words and that I adore. It is something described in the book MUTANT MESSAGE DOWN UNDER about a tribe of aboriginals, and I now understand more about it as we experience it. It is fun that the boys are having it with us, too.
UPDATING, PART 3: From Connection to Commitment
Many people in my Love Club are now updating, meaning they are involved with someone they REALLY like and can’t believe their “luck.” (Just to remind you, I don’t believe that anyone is out of your league, so I don’t believe you would ever “update.”)
The time between connecting with someone to when you commit can be a crazy time. I find that it can put people off-center. They’re either waiting by the phone or checking email obsessively or busy finding fault and questioning whether this could be the One or not. Two keys to this time are:
- Finding center on a continual basis. Whenever you start worrying, let it go by doing a release (“I put this in the Universe’s hands and trust it all works out”) and then get busy having fun in your life. Don’t revolve your life around this person.
- Being with not-knowing. Instead of trying to rush things along, relish this delicious time of falling in love. As long as it’s dynamic, you can trust it will work out but don’t try to go from attraction to commitment instantaneously. Better to give it some time trusting that the right things will happen in due time.
I would love to see you if you’re in Australia , the Pacific, some parts of Asia or Europe in the next few months. And I’ll be briefly back in the States in several cities teaching right around Valentine’s Day. Meanwhile, feel free to connect with me through my monthly teleseminars -- I’m still in touch thanks to cyberspace.
love,
Kathryn
Sunday, November 11th, 2007
Dear ones,
Hi! I’m in Hawaii right now, having started my very long trip with my family. I’m excited and so far, so good. It’s quite an adventure, and I’ll be teaching and talking at various places plus seeing private clients I’ve never met in person before. Our times will constantly change, but I will be in touch by email and the web frequently.
First comes Big Island (where this shot of our two youngest, who are with us, was taken), then Maui and Honolulu .
I will keep you posted of our progress and if you are in the Pacific Rim or Europe , maybe I’ll see you along the way!
love,
Kathryn
September 17, 2007
Hi from Kathryn
Dear one,
Hi! I hope this finds you well and planning for a glorious fall. I have just gotten through three birthdays (three of my kids were born within 2 weeks of one another!). Yesterday, saw me jumping up and down like a crazy person in a bouncer with a passel of kids. I have to admit that I’m sore today, but it was worth it!
If you are thinking about joining my first ever coaching program called the Love Club, do it NOW. It is almost full and we will cut off registration within a few days as it fills. To find out more, click here.
UPDATING, PART 2: CONNECTIN DO’S AND DON’TS
In Part 1 of Updating, I defined Updating as dating out of your league. I don’t believe that ANYONE is out of your league, but if you do, I am revealing how to get beyond this and date who you want to -- one step at a time. Part 1 covered The Approach. I asked that when you find someone attractive, no matter how intimidated you feel, you approach them in some way, even with a smile or eye contact. If you don’t, you pretty much rule out the very people who may be your soulmate (because I believe you will have crackling chemistry with your One).
In Part 2, we cover Connecting Do’s and Don’ts. After you have approached someone you are attracted to, you need to seek a connection. Here are some tips.
- DO watch your energy. You want to seem mildly interested, pleasant and harmless.
- DON’T exude desperation or pushiness. You might as well put your hand on their chest and give them a shove away from you. Despearate and pushiness repel.
- DO honor the person’s boundaries. Don’t violate their personal space (learn to be aware of this). Don’t go into a monologue if you can tell they’re not into what you’re saying
- DON’T seek to be dazzling. Your stellar personality will be less interesting that your simply being a good listener seeking to get to know them a little.
- DO look deeply into your attraction’s eyes and become acutely aware of the connection between the two of you.
Connecting should be light, fun and with sensitive energy. Running anyone over with a bulldozer of in-their-face energy may send them running for cover. Practice this in the next couple of weeks with no attachment to the results just to get better at connecting when you want to. More to come . . . !
If you are in Hawaii , Australia , Asia or other Pacific Islands , let me know. I will be traveling this fall in those areas with my family and may teach a workshop in your area, starting with Hawaii in early November.
Hope to see you soon!
love,
Kathryn
Tuesday, August 21st, 2007
Dear One,
Hi! The baby and my husband are napping, the 4-year-old is doing a puzzle at the end of the bed, and here I sit with my laptop taking a moment to write you (before I perform a wedding this evening).
Boy is change in the air! It is both exhilarating and for me, scary, too. I am releasing my 18-year-old to college in 2 weeks. Then, I head to Cape Cod to nurse my wounds and enjoy my high school buddies' annual reunion.
Then comes the fall with more change afoot than I have ever seen at once, both for me and many that I work with.
In September, I do something I've never done before. I start my new coaching program called the LOVE CLUB. It is way that you, no matter where you are on the planet, can have personal access to me to coach you, uplift you, rev up your love life and then keep it good. To find out more, click here.
UPDATING, PART 1: The Approach
Updating is basically dating out of your league. I don't believe in it but many buy into this notion. If you feel someone is scary to talk to because they're desirable to you, you may believe that they're somehow better than you. This is a false idea. There ARE NO leagues, only human beings looking to connect.
The next time that you see someone you find attractive, here are some suggestions on connecting with them.
- Get rid of the idea that they're better than you or could reject you. They can't. There is no rejection, only the wrong fit.
- Remember we're not all attracted to the same thing so there is probably a REASON that you're vibing with this person. Intend to explore what is there.
- Shore up your energy so it's not desperate, which is repellent. Remind yourself that you are special, a catch for your soulmate.
- With no agenda other than connecting and keeping in mind that you are worthy of ANYTHING, approach the person and look him in the eye. Smile and ask him something about himself. Remember he's just a human being like you and needs to connect.
If you are fearful of approaching someone you're actually drawn to, like many that I work with, you automatically count out the people most likely to be your soulmate. Make it a point to stretch into allowing connections with those you find attractive. If you believe in updating, then vow to be a master at it!
If you are in LA at the end of August, don't miss the Spiritually Dating Workshop. We will practice connecting in a way that's irresistible. It's Fri, Aug 31st in LA. For more about it click HERE
See you soon, and have a GREAT August!
love,
Kathryn
Sunday, July 27th, 2008
Private Birthday Dinner by the Ocean
Dear one,
I had the most divine birthday! Jon flew back from the States, and I almost passed out from happiness at being back in his arms. He was enough of a gift but on top of that, he arranged a beachside private dinner and brought all sorts of fun gifts from home (I never thought I’d be so joyful over peanut butter cups!)
And he brought back fantastic news, too! His mom, my mother-in-law, has fallen head over heels in love. Many of you met her when she accompanied me on the western leg of my book tour to help with Julian, who was a small baby at the time. It seems like everyone who is close to me ends up finding their soulmate, and at age 76, she’s no exception. Her new boyfriend is a high school classmate, and he may move to her town just to be close to her. She is over the moon and coos, "Kathryn, everything you teach is true!"
What IS the Universal Attractant?
Just as desperation repels, there is a power that will attract UNIVERSALLY. Studies show that we are all attracted to different things and in fact, there is only ONE characteristic that everyone is attracted to.
What is this ONE thing, this Universal Attractant? Not looks, not money, not sterling personality. No, it’s CONFIDENCE.
How can you unleash this powerful magnet in your own life?
- Cut out any voices (inside of you or in your life) that denigrate you.
- Begin cataloguing your good qualities and your successes on a regular basis in your journal. Seek to view yourself as God does.
- Frequent places and situations that make you feel good. When you go somewhere that makes you uncomfortable, you WON’T be in attraction energy, whereas if you’re in an environment that feels natural, you’ll RADIATE confidence.
- Change your posture: head up, chest out, arms uncrossed, lounging back. Studies show that if you use confident body language, your feelings follow.
- Do the healing that is needed to throw off old habits of insecurity that you may have carried since childhood. One suggestion that we still offer but that will disappear soon is the Emotional Healing Teleseminar.
We are so pleased to finally have the Sleep Kit done, and if you battle for sleep, check it out here. We’ve been working on it for TWO years. For a short time, you can get it at 30% off. So many people fall asleep around me that it’s a running joke and I’m happy for you to use this power for your good!
Talk to you soon!
love,
Kathryn
Friday, June 27th, 2008
Jon and I yachting to Gili Trawangan
Hi!
Jon and I are now on Lombok, the island just east of Bali, with our boys. It reminds me of the Virgin Islands: great beaches, slow pace, good views. The people here are so open-hearted and it is a different way of life. We're especially enjoying playing tennis together, swimming and boating.
RAISING THE BAR FOR LOVE
The way that you think about love determines what you get. So when someone tells me, "I just want a nice man [or woman]," I ask them to increase their expectations. Just wanting a "nice man" can sniff of desperation and compromise. Love is not an arena that responds well to either. Settling is not necessary and won’t get your happy ending.
I recommend believing that you can have exactly what you want, a person who has the qualities that you desire and with whom you have crackling chemistry. Nothing less should do!
And even if there is no one in sight, even if you have disappointing dating experiences, this is no predictor of your future because you are not limited to your past. You can have high hopes for love, even when nothing is yet showing.
Upping Your Vibration: Here are some tips to raise your bar and pull yourself to the level of attracting your soulmate and nothing else
- Do anything you can to eradicate desperation and inspire hope in your heart
- Spend time every day imagining the person who would be right for you, how great your relationship will be, what they love about you and your life together
- Eradicate negative language from your dating vocabulary. No more: "dating sucks in this town," "every woman in this town is a gold-digger," "every man in this town is a player" or "I only attract losers." Instead, say "I know my soulmate is on her way," and don’t get negative when talking with friends about love
- While giving people a reasonable chance (because attraction tends to grow over time), feel free to say "no" to anything that is not right or feels like settling.This includes letting go of anyone from your past with whom you feel incomplete
- Be on the lookout for soulmates and happy couples as an example of what you can expect
When you notice you’re feeling down about love, keep this list to remind you of how to get beyond the negativity. Work on raising your sights, and you’ll be surprised how quickly love will happen as the Universe responds to your new energy!
I hope to speak to you soon!
love,
Kathryn
Tuesday, May 27th, 2008
Dear One,
Hi from Lembongan, an island 18 miles from Bali. This sleepy island, where the only things happening are surfing, diving and seaweed farming, is the perfect spot for me to write two articles and work on my book as I type on my laptop in front of a turquoise-water-and-Bali-volcano view. On Sunday, I’m boating over to Bali to meet one of my Love Club members, Catherine Yerly, who is here for a wedding. We are going to seek out the healing man and female doctor featured in the book EAT, PRAY, LOVE (a Love Club recommendation).
PROS AND CONS OF ON-LINE DATING:
Your friends all tell you: "you HAVE to get on-line to find love!" Is this true? No, it’s not. Love will happen to you in the perfect way as you open your energy, and there are NO ODDS, so you won’t necessarily be upping your odds for love in this manner. And there can be a steep downside in on-line dating -- not to say there’s no value in it. Here are the positives and negatives about joining in the on-line matchmaking boom.
PROS
- You’re telling the Universe you’re ready for love. And you open a possible channel for love to come through.
- You get a better sense of the abundance of available people out there, which can be quite reassuring.
- You can gain clarity of what you want in love and what you offer.
CONS
- It’s easy to get discouraged or take any lack of interest or dearth of promising partners as a sign to feel despair about your love prospects. Online dating can take a big emotional toll and this can suppress the good energy you need to magnetize love.
- It’s a lot of work. It’s harder to weed through everyone and takes more effort to establish the emotional bond that happens quickly with face-to-face meetings.
- It can be AWKWARD. On-line matchmaking is not at all organic and so there can be an undue amount of pressure on each date. It’s harder for a relationship to flourish under that kind of pressue.
Summary: On-line dating is NOT necessary. Love can happen in many ways but you can try it if it beckons to you. Only you can be the judge about whether this is right for you, but not everyone is cut ouf for it. If you’re not, you will STILL get love in the way that’s perfect for you.
Talk to you soon!
love,
Kathryn
Saturday, April 19th, 2008
Dear One
Greetings from Southern Malaysia! We are headed to Bali on Saturday. The controversial (!) Olympic torch recently passed us in Kuala Lumpur and everyone here is thrilled that a movie starring two Asians is top of the heap at the worldwide box office. I can’t wait for Bali, where we will spend a month. I’m going to check out Balinese beds, something I’ve always wanted, the big ones that you could disappear into for weeks at a time. We will see old and new friends on this magical island and I’ll be doing some teaching.
IS THERE A SALE ON YOU?!
Have you thrown yourself in the discount bin? I’ve seen far too many people do so in their dating lives and in many other ways. It comes from a flawed sense of self-worth that you may have acquired in childhood. Studies show that by the time people graduate from high school, their self-esteem has plummeted 80% since 1st Grade! If you don’t value yourself, it’s hard to date for your soulmate and you’re setting yourself up for heartache.
To take yourself off the sale rack and put yourself in the high end market, here are some tips.
- Be picky. Be hard-to-get, and don’t settle for just anyone to date.
- Take your time in dating and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not ready for.
- Don’t label anyone as a soulmate too easily. Take a wait-and-see attitude so that you can exercise proper discernment to see if your date is worthy of you.
- You aren’t desperate or needy, and so don’t act like you are. Don’t feel like you are having to beg or chase a date down (and don’t allow yourself to exhibit this behavior).
- Look for the one who treats you like royalty and who really wants to be with you.
- Have a bottom line on what sort of behavior is worthy of you and what would make you give a date the heave-ho and stick to this boundary.
Your soulmate will treat you well because you meet you at a high vibration. It may take some getting used to. Beyond these simple tips, it may require deeper work to eradicate your devaluation of your precious being.
The Emotional Healing Teleseminar has proven an effective way to turn around a tendency to self yourself short. Changing focus is one of the keys and this powerful teleseminar has already had amazing results. To find out more, click here.
Here’s to self-worth! Talk to you soon!!
love,
Kathryn
Saturday, March 29th, 2008
Dear one,
Hi! I hope you had a great Easter!! We've made it to Penang, Malaysia,which Islands Magazine rates the best island to live on in the world. I've never stayed practically ON the equator, and it's amazing to see actual monkeys in the trees (not to mention the one that swung through the rafters of our hotel lobby!). The kids have taken immediately to the Kid's Club at our resort, and the most memorable sight I've seen so far is two police women dozing in their patrol car, bored by lack of action. The kicker is that that were in full-on burkas, covered head-to-toe in Muslim fashion.
IGNORE YOUR FRIENDS!
One of the single biggest problems that I see with those opening to love is -- sadly -- their friends. Well-meaning but ill-advised mates may tell you things like:
- "On-line dating is a MUST to find love."
- "If you don't get 'out there,' you'll miss your love."
- "You need to change this or that, or no one will find you desirable."
- Tell them that it hurts you when they say such things and ask if they could be more supportive.
- Ignore them!! Part of our journey in life is to become imperturbable. And anyone who ever achieved anything had to turn their back on the naysayers. Learn to not take in their negativity and remind yourself that you get love no matter what and in a way that suits you perfectly.
- Gravitate towards those in your life who are supportive and uplifting to you during this delicate time of opening to love.
I am still getting emails about February's teleseminar, Getting to theSoulmate Level of Attraction. This is breakthrough material and I've never seen the quick shifts being reported as a result -- an astounding number of love stories!. It is still available by recording for now if you want to order it, and you will also receive a detailed transcript plus resources as supplements.
Also this month -- the Relating Magic teleseminar. If you want to improve your relationship and make it soulmate material or simply want better luck in dating, don't miss this surefire formula for turning around the way you relate and call forth exactly what you want.
Talk to you soon!
love,
Kathryn
Monday, March 03rd, 2008
Dear one,
Hi! I’ve been traveling in the U.S. for Valentine’s Day, a big working time for me and I brought 1 year old Julian with me. While it was fun to be back and connect with old friends and load up on our favorite goodies to take back to Thailand , I practically FELL into the arms of my husband and soulmate, Jon, upon my return. He and Jon-Jon, our 5 year old – tanned and blonder than ever -- were waiting for us at the Phuket International Airport with a big sign with our names on it.
So, here I am, back in the Land of Smiles , where turquoise water and sunshine preside, nice dogs roam free and you may just see a family of 4 crammed onto a single scooter! We stay here until March 14th, when we go to Malaysia . We are having SO much fun traveling that I think I could do this forever!
ARE YOU DATING ON THE WRONG LEVEL TO ATTRACT YOUR SOULMATE?
I am SO excited about my teleseminar THE GREAT 2008 RELEASE and if you miss it on Feb 28th, you can always order it to get the recording later. It will be worthwhile.
I have noticed through my work with the Love Club how often even the most evolved person can get caught up in the yuckiness or low-level dating. When you let yourself buy into this level of dating -- the hallmarks of which are feeling a sense of competition, feeling despair about your love prospects, going by appearances rather than a deeper truth or even feeling desperation – things won’t go well for you and you will attract exactly what you don’t want.
But it’s not that difficult to pull yourself out of the low-level place most people date and not only open to an enjoyable love life, but more importantly, to your soulmate. I have seen people turn their romantic life around DRAMATICALLY as they learn to turn their back on what most people think dating is to what is REAL. It’s not that hard to do.
SO if you tend to drunk dial, to get FAR too caught up in matchmaking drama, experience major insecurity about your love prospects, succumb to a friends-with-benefits situation or be depressed about your love life, here are some suggestions:
- Dive into the material on this website including the two FREE teleseminars – The Great 2008 Release and The 4 Stages of Soulmates and How to Zoom Through Them. You can sign up for them at the Shop page of this website.
- Swear off anything in your love life that makes you feel BAD or desperate be it on-line matchmaking, going to bars or parties you don’t like or a relationship that is not honoring you. This step alone will help you begin to magnetize love. Saying “no” to what you don’t want is the first step to your heart’s desires.
- Begin imagining your ideal relationship and do anything that makes you happy to stay in a positive, upbeat vibe.
For more on this topic, order the GETTING TO THE SOULMATE STAGE OF ATTRACTION, which has been called breakthrough material.
Talk to you soon!
love,
Kathryn
Saturday, January 12th, 2008
Dear one,
Happy New Year! My idea of paradise is being somewhere I’ve always wanted to go with those I love the most. So that must mean I’m in heaven right now! (In Cairns , Australia , home of the Great Barrier Reef , with my family).
What is YOUR idea of heaven? I’d like to urge you to set the intention to start creating your heaven on earth this year.
And I have a gift for you to help you do it. I’m teaching a FREE teleseminar next Thursday called THE GREAT 2008 RELEASE to help you let go of anything that is holding you back from realizing your dreams, whether it’s a belief, a person, your past or limited ideas about yourself. Sign up NOW to reserve your spot and get call-in info at www.KathrynAlice.com/shop.htm.
Let’s set an intention for a dreams-come-true 2008!
CAN YOU WANT YOUR SOULMATE TOO MUCH?
When I was teaching in Sydney , someone asked me an interesting question: “Can you want your soulmate too much?” And I had to answer: “yes, you can.” Too many people get so obsessed with finding love that they begin exuding a desperate energy that actually pushes love away. If you hang on too tightly to a desire, the wanting becomes an actual disconnect from the very thing you want (and from Source).
When you find yourself longing for your soulmate in a way that feels bad (i.e. WHY don’t I ever find love? WHY does love never work out for me?), you know you’re wanting it too much -- or at least in a nonproductive way. Instead, I advise either letting it go for now, since it’s producing feelings of being left out OR think of your soulmate in a more positive way.
- Let it go by turning your thoughts to positive ones or go do something fun to take your mind off this negative place you’re going.
- Catch yourself fostering a bad energy about soulmates by being impatient, feeling left out or obsessing, and replace this energy with a better one. Daydream about the amazing honeymoon on Bora Bora you will have together, romping in the turquoise surf. Or imagine in detail how great your relationship will be.
- Remember that if you set an intention for a soulmate, it is a done deal and will show up in the right timing. That thought alone can be soothing. In the meantime, your job is to keep yourself magnetic to love by maintaining a hopeful, joyous and happy energy.
You have a wonderful journey ahead of you especially this year. If you want to release any negative energy about soulmates, don’t miss the free teleseminar next Thursday. And later, on Jan 24th, I have another teleseminar where you can set your intentions for 2008 in a powerful way. Talk to you soon!
love,
Kathryn
Copyright © 2000 - 2005 The Alice Tompkins Company