A DISEASE: This attitude —that being single is a disease to be cured as quickly as possible — is pervasive. Even at my workshops, people mention that they hesitated to show up for fear of admitting they were single. The image of the spinster, the desperate single girl or the isolated nerd are all too common in the media, in movies and in popular culture. In fact, it’s not the state of being single that is painful, it is how you look at it. If you buy the oft-depicted lonely images, you will cast yourself as a miserable victim who will never find love and like Judith, put yourself into a state of continual misery. This is a waste of what should be a glorious time in your life.
A BREAKTHROUGH: The series Sex and the City was a breakthrough for singlehood. It depicted four unattached women in their thirties and forties living lives of adventure and fun. The men that filtered through their lives were important but didn’t define them, and the married characters were less interesting. In this world, being single was opportune.